Everyone Is On Their Own Journey

“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.

The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”

~ Ram Dass

Each of us is a beautiful soul created in a timeless, spacious love. We are indistinguishable infinite beings of light that can never be harmed, possessing a basic goodness that is unconditionally loving and that which radiates inner peace. For reasons unknown to most of us, we arrived here as spiritual beings to engage in an Earthly experience. 

And this is where our likeness ends. Once we arrive on Earth our form body comes into being and we divide into a kaleidoscope of different qualities. From our hair color to our fingerprints, our personality to our food preferences, our genes remind us that no two human beings are exactly alike. Even identical twins who share the same DNA have some differences due to their environment. Thanks to the influences of nature, nurture, random chance, and even luck our lives are never moving in exactly the same pattern. Our perceptions, emotional states, likes and dislikes, areas of interest, strengths, and vulnerabilities are endlessly weaving themselves together in a heartbreaking and joyful mess we call life. 

Me: So, everyone’s spiritual journey takes a different form here on Earth. Why? 

God: Why not? Isn’t beauty best captured in our differences?

Me: Sure, sure. We make a nice tapestry. But what about getting along? How can we see eye to eye? 

God: Honor and respect the differences you see. Never forget the shared unconditional love which you don’t. 

OK, seems simple enough. If we can remember who we are at our most basic, which is a soul having a unique Earthly experience, while still sharing an incredible connection to a love that endures all things, then we can take our human differences lightly and have respect for and even enjoy the mask that each of us chooses to wear. 

But why, then, is this so difficult? 

Because this is life, and in this life we were given, along with a human body, a personality’s version of a Smartphone. It is always close at hand and we never think to shut it off. Its power over us is not unlike our pocket computers. We call it the ego, and boy, does it like to be right! 

Not only does it like to be right, but it also loves to other. To distinguish itself from the pack by standing alone with its righteous indignation. “That person? You’re talking to that person?!” “I just don’t understand why she sees it that way, and I don’t think I ever will.” “His opinion doesn’t matter to me. I mean, how can I even respect what he says?” 

Our ego judges, criticizes and likes to control. It wants to be the kid left standing in the game, ‘King of the Mountain.’ The ego wants to separate that which cannot be separated – our soul’s deep and timeless connection to other souls – but tries with all its might while we are down here on Earth. 

This certainly doesn’t make things easy. 

The ego doesn’t want to accept the fact that everyone is on their own journey. That we can look differently, behave differently, and take on different interests and still be able to Love one another openly and freely at the same time. It fears connection because connection to the ego means losing itself as a stand-alone, special character. The loss of that distinctiveness is a threat to its very existence. 

The ego begins not long into our development and starts to expand over time. Some believe it is important to have an ego during these early critical stages as it helps us cope with adversity and adapt to our environment. Once we have reached our developmental milestones, however, it is just as important to lessen our grip on it more and more until it no longer directs the show of our lives. We do this by acquiring the awareness to notice it and understand its operating pattern in our internal dialogue and day-to-day interactions with others. It is only with this increased level of awareness and understanding that we stand a fighting chance of no longer falling mercy to its game of separation which is to the detriment of our Love for others. 

Alas, even the most well-trained yogis and spiritual practitioners know just how sneaky and clever the ego can be. It pops up when you least expect it to. Just when you think you’ve gotten a handle on its nefarious nature and how it arises, it comes railing at you saying, “look, LOOK! That person! He’s behaving like a buffoon! Oh, no, no, we can’t accept that person. We simply cannot. I mean, come on, there must be a clause in here that allows for exceptions!” 

No exceptions. That’s how this works. 

Wrapped in a cloak of caring and concern, we might judge others by how or if they pray and worship, citing that we just want what is best for them. We may try and control others by offering our solutions for how they can better spend their money. Or take care of their pets. Or manage their household. With each situation the ego says, I’m just trying to help. Can’t you see that? The ego believes that it can force another into being who we want them to be. And since it aims to be right at all costs it is going to hold hard and fast to that belief. 

Fortunately, many of us know when we are not acting from Love because it doesn’t feel like Love. Our keen awareness of our feelings and emotions is key to distinguishing that which is coming from our ego and that which is coming from Love. Love doesn’t feel constricting or contracting. It doesn’t feel like we are pushing our agenda onto others or placing conditions around it. Love feels freeing. Generative. Warm. All encompassing. Spacious. While the ego might offer up a cloudy lens of skepticism or disdain, Love allows us to see the bright light of perfect imperfection standing directly in front of us. 

Others may disagree, but I believe that we were given a challenge. The challenge is to remember each day that which we have forgotten: the unconditional love that we have for ourselves and all beings. When this Love is remembered, the disagreements and differences both tend to lose their sharpness and retreat to the background. The ego’s grip loosens and we slowly drop our defenses. The Love waiting to be received in the present moment bears itself and shines through. It is impossible not to see it now. Our only task in this moment is to receive it. Extra credit is given if you can stay with it for a few moments or more to let this feeling sink into your brain and body. You are priming yourself for future forays in the ego vs. Love challenge. 

It may sound like a challenge for only the foolish and naïve but if I am being honest, it’s the one and only goal I have. And I know that because of the ego’s strength and tenacity to hold on I’ll be working on this for the rest of my life. 

Each time we encounter something that activates our ego, which is anything that aims to ‘other’ those around us, we need to push back on it and remember that everyone is on their own journey. We need to respect that journey just as we wish for others to respect ours. Their journey has nothing to do with us and anything less than respect would be unloving. We may not agree or understand the path they choose to take but we don’t jump in and try to control the situation to satiate our ego’s thirst. Instead, we leave judgment outside the door and welcome in Love and only Love.

Eventually we all return from where we came. The indescribable light will envelop us once more and our souls will return to Source. On our way home, we will share the unique pathways each of us took to our return destination like those exchanging stories in the airport lounge waiting for their departure. Perhaps some of the travelers learned a thing or two about unconditional Love along the way. For them, continuing where they left off when their journey first began will be easy. The deep dive back into a permeating and all-encompassing Love will feel like a dip into a familiar body of water; one they had the pleasure of enjoying more and more frequently as time went on. Others may have to retrace their steps and rejoin the Love that eluded them during their Earthly adventure. Soon they will realize that their experience was the small stuff. Fluff. A look at a unique tapestry of colors that never mattered at the end of the day. These weary travelers will learn that the journey itself was only a lesson in remembering to Love. Our shared, enduring, unconditional Love disguised by outside appearances was the only thing that mattered then and the only thing that matters now.